still in the making..

when people ask me, what do u do, i say, I'm a teacher, but i know better..not just a teacher..also

a guider-end up they guide me to insanity

a moulder- end up they mould me to a state of mental instability

a motivator- end up i am the one who need motivation

a tutor-end up they lead me to boredom

they bombard your with series of silliness

they challenged your authority

they deny your integrity

being a teacher

used to be sublime

but thru time

people turn blind

to the sweat, the tears.

the honour

that they used to pour

seems to be revoked

should they forgo

their ego

....................

---still under construction---

i'm a survivor...am i?

this week is really something...i knew that this job can and will make u fell like u hit rock bottom...but i have never really prepared for it...not until last Monday though...

Forgive, sounds good Forget, I’m not sure I could They say time heals everything But I’m still waiting
I’m through with doubt There’s nothing left for me to figure outI’ve paid a price And I’ll keep paying
I’m not ready to make nice I’m not ready to back downI’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right I probably wouldn’t if I could‘Cause I’m mad as hell Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I know you said Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around And I kind of like it
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

...and it has been haunting me me since...is that statement really true???...aku memang bodoh ke?...bodoh coz bercekang mata marking their exam paper, tapi only 2 students lulus (lain kali aku timbang kati jer bagi markah...:}),bodoh coz spending time preparing materials for them, but they never bother to do the assignment, bodoh coz spending time, photostating materials for them, but they never thank me, bodoh coz marking their unfinished homework, bodoh coz wasting my time to those who never appreciate it...bodoh coz membazirkan tenaga teaching org yg tak makan dek ajar...should i be feeling this way??? aku dikatakan bodoh???by those who haven't really given the honour to face the changing reallties of the wide open space....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANISH DARLING!!!!

2 years ago today
a few months after

last october...

recently...

...time really does fly us by, my 1st baby turns 2 today...his personality has started showing...more tantrum, more jealousy esp toward baby haqim, makin cerewet...and yet, pandai ambik hati papa mama(ie-buat muke cute kalu nak something), more vocab..(a complete sentence last 2 weeks..."ape tu?"..even just 2 words), dah pandai bukak/main pintu, pandai mintak switch on pc, pandai pilih tv channels and etc-etc, tak cukup nak list down.. :} most importantly..dah stop mintak pacifier!!! alhamdulilah...kalu tidak bende alah tu asyik tergantung jer kat mulut dier...

فريدة shoes

...shoes...i just love them, dulu2, mase belum kawin& belum ader baby, gile shoes shopping, ingat lgi my 1st high heels for acara 'cucuk bintang'-ku kebas from akokku-2 and half inches tu, paling tinggi ponah ku pakei.boley buat dancing lagi tau...tapi now, nak pakai 1 and half pun dah takley pakei lelame...lengoh betis(ie-badan dah bertambah berat).

mase study dulu esp kat ppp, pakei loafers jer, itu lah dibuat ke kelas, jalan2, dating-multipurpose shoes, cume tak buat gi pasar malam jer hihi...yelah, duit mane ader banyak...

start shoes shppoing bile dah start koje, baru dapat duit lah katekan, ape lagi..sakanle,...hobby diteruskan sehingga got married-mase belum ader baby, sampai baby said my car is a shoes rack bergerak, penuh kasut dlm car...:}

but now, ader "sekor" jerlah my working CR shoes, pakeiler sampai jahannah,tapi jgn tak tau ye..matching ngan handbag tau ;*... pegi jalan2 pun pakei my hush puppies SELIPAR...haha, sebab beli mase preggy, very comfy, and expensive, so kenelah pakei sampei koyak rabak jgk...

nape nak bebel pasal shoes, coz of what happened today at school. budak2 CJ nie ade sejarah 'hebat' ngan kasut... #1. from reliable sourses, cekgu2 senior s told me that, about few years back, ade 1 policeofficer came to the school to give a talk about juvenile crime for them, while that policeman was in the office (fyi:nak masuk opis kene take off shoes), bile dia kluar nak balik, kasut boot police tu HILANG! it is still remain a mistery until today what happened to that boot. just imagine, boot police hilang kat sek after dia gave talk about crime...

#2. few years b4, the school held a meeting peringkat daerah, so teachers from whole daerah pun besidangle kat bilik meeting, (also kene take off shoes jgk), bile sorang chekgu ni nak balik, dia tak jupe kasut dia, carik punyer carik..tup-tup, jumpe atas awning corridor!

#3. happened today to a collegue of mine. she was having her class at the bilik kesihatan, (also kene take off shoes), and bile dia nak kluar, tak jumper her heels, carik punyer carik, jumper tersorok dlm LONGKANG, and found "bendasing" inside..want to know...it was CHEWING GUM!

hai.. budak-budak CJ...

1st holiday of the year

...alhamdulilah, everything went well during our 1st holiday of the year, as planned, berangkat ke cherating on the 4th of july and was there until friday...mase pegi, hujan lobat from kl, once dah masok pahang, paneh sungguh...end up, mama&danish tak sihat sgt now, yesterday, danish's tempreture went up and bit, and 2day i'm on MC :{

...unfortunately, actually planned to meet awie and aime suhana, tapi di dhani, once again kene gigit dgn tebuan, so tak dpt jumpo, si ai pulak, aku tak angkat hp, so itu minah susah merajuk ler plak...insyallah i'll see again u next taime plak kay?

click here to view some pics

paris hilton serving jail time..

...nape aku nak bebel pasal dia, WHY? why not. she interest me..she is the hilton group' heiress...one of the most pictured woman in history, and for all the glam and parties...she will spend 36 days in Century Regional Detention Center (actual days shud be 45days- but got reduced due to 'good behaviour'-belum masuk dh dapat???!!-kelakar betul)bayangkanlah minah nie nak masuk jail for that length of time...aku tak dapat bayangkan, mesti lepas nie, berderet producer2 Hollywood berebut2 nak buat movie pasl dia(i can just tell)...have u seen american movies about what happen in their jails? perh, scary people...i heard from the morning crew(hitz.fm-my fav radio station) that her cell mate has been chosen...hope this will be a lesson to be learnt to all the hollywood icons, that no one is above the law--???

Paris Whitney Hilton (born February17, 1981) is an American celebrity, socialite, actress, and singer(??best ker). She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton.

begini skali mamat2 dan minah2 reporter nie nak tunggu si paris masuk jail...

Media crew film inmates as they empty the trash in the parking lot while awaiting the arrival of hotel heiress Paris Hilton to the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood June 3, 2007, where she is scheduled to serve her three-week prison sentence. Paris was serving 36 months probation for a September 2006 alcohol-related arrest when she was cited for driving with a suspended license. REUTERS/Gus Ruelas (UNITED STATES)

celebrity nak masuk jail, kenelah bersihkan yer...

Members of the media settle in at the Century Regional Detention Center as they wait for Paris Hilton arrive for first day of her three week prison sentence, Saturday, June 2, 2007 in Lynwood